It is useful to consider that cheating is a symptom, not a cause.

Then the question becomes “a symptom of what?”

As a Marriage and Communication Coach, there are four sources of cheating and infidelity:

1. Lack of effective communication and relationship skills.

2. Lack of self and mutual awareness of Love Languages. Frustration arising from attempting to love one another in ineffective love languages.

3. Lack of self and mutual awareness of personality types and the opportunities and challenges of differing personalities.

4. Behavioral legaces, coping strategies, developed in childhood and experiences of and from previous marriages.

All of the above will continue to run beneath the surface of marriage and distorting relationships. Until those dysfunctional patterns are distinguished, overwritten, and replaced with a new set of life affirming “codes” the probability of infidelity and cheating will remain.

I invite any couple experiencing, or suspecting, cheating and infidelity to seek out a counselor or coach to support them as they upgrade their relationship and communication skills.