I invite us to consider the phrases “Need to,” “Have to,” like “Must,” and “Should” all occur in the world of obligation and life given by circumstances.

There’s a concealed “or else.”

“I have to. I need to. I should go shopping.”

Alternatively, an empowering phrase would sound like “Get to” belonging to a world given by choice, opportunity, and possibility.

“I get to go shopping.”

None of these arise in the world given by, “Have to, Need to, Should, and Must.”

In a “I get to” given world, our lives are self-creating. We live freely by choice, from moment to moment, at the source of our own existence.

(This is one of the key behavioral distinctions couples learn at Marriage and Communication coaching.

Try it, you’ll like it.